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Self-regulation resources and training to support children’s mental health

My child is too shy to make new friends

How can I help my child build their self-esteem? 

Children who have a hard time talking to new people may be suffering from low self-esteem. This can make trying new activities, play dates or even family holidays very difficult. Children may feel anxious about leaving their parents side because they are afraid of rejection, and may deal with their frustration by acting out, misbehaving or sulking.

How can I tell if my child has low self-esteem?

Children with low self-esteem may display one or more of the following tendencies:

Poor self-image

Lack of confidence

Feelings of worthlessness

Unconfident and unrealistic about abilities

Overwhelmed by fear or negative thoughts

Fear of change

Distorted views of self or others

How can I help my child improve their self-esteem?

Studies have shown that regular relaxation can boost self-esteem and improve family relationships.

Relax Kids teaches children simple relaxation techniques to manage their emotions and learn to deal with them in a positive way. When children understand their emotions, fear of rejection, for example, they are able to better communicate how they are feeling. This gives us an opportunity to talk to our children and help them feel better, rather than allowing their fear and frustration to build

Relaxation techniques that can help improve self-esteem include positive affirmations, visualisations, deep muscle relaxation to let go of stress tension, and breathing exercises.

Try this simple breathing exercise with your child next time they are going to be in a situation where they will have to speak to new people, such as a new activity or sports club:

Ask your child to stay still for a few moments and focus on their breathing. As they breathe in, say one of the following affirmations, ‘I am confident’, ‘I am bright’. As they breathe out, they say, ‘I let go of sadness’, ‘I let go of anxiety’, etc.

In a short time, their body will be filled with happy hormones as their anxiety reduces, and they will feel calm and confident -ready be themselves and make new friends!

If you think your child may be suffering from low self-esteem, try our Self-Esteem CD.  We show your child in a simple and easy way how to slow down their breathing, release tension in their muscles, relax deeply and use positive affirmations to help boost their self-esteem.

Read this review from one parent who used the Self-Esteem CD with all three of her children, but in particular, her eldest daughter, who had been struggling with low self-esteem:

My eldest daughter Tara, aged 10, sometimes suffers from low self-esteem, so I thought this CD was the perfect opportunity to try to help her overcome this issue and have fun doing so in the process.

Tara, like many children her age, is something of a perfectionist and as a result, often gets herself into a state over small things, such as not being able to get the details quite right in a sketch, or forgetting how to work out a math question. At these times, she can get so worked up that the tears flow and she races off to her room, leaving everyone behind wondering why on earth she is getting herself upset about something apparently trivial to the rest of us.

I was astounded by just how much all three of my children enjoyed these tracks. Several tracks are affirmation tracks and these have been particularly beneficial for Tara as she now understands that by thinking positively about things she’s having problems with, she will begin to believe in herself and her abilities!

Sinead, Parent

Learn more about boosting children’s self-esteem, buy the Self-Esteem CD here: https://relaxkids.com/product/self-esteem/

*Clinical Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 9 (4): 479-497, 2004, by Linda Harrison, Ramesh Manocha and Katya Rubia.