When children bottle up their negative feelings, the feelings eventually find a way to surface – a tantrum, sleepless nights, tummy aches,change in appetite or personality.
Stress can also attack children’s immune systems, leaving them more vulnerable to illnesses and infections, as well as slowing down recovery time when they do get ill.
This is because stress causes our bodies to release a hormone called cortisol, which suppresses the immune system. But children don’t get stressed… Do they?
When I first started Relax Kids, this was what so many parents said and they didn’t see the point of relaxation. However, we know that 1 in 10 children are struggling with stress (BBC Health).
Reasons for child stress…
School work
Family break-ups
Fall-outs with friends
Low self-esteem
Bullying
Pressure to succeed.
Children can also pick up on their parents’ stress and absorb some of those negative feelings themselves!
So if you are facing extra pressure at work, going through financial difficulties, or there’s any other reason why you are particularly stressed, it’s important to first check your own stress levels and then talk to your child about how they are feeling.
How can I get my child to open up? This is a question that we often hear. Children often don’t know how to express how they are feeling – and often they don’t have the words for it! For example, many children are not familiar with the concept of stress, so they may say that they are feeling angry or annoyed instead.
Here are a few tips to help your child feel more relaxed to talk about their feelings.
Create a Safe Space: Make time for one-on-one conversations without distractions. Ensure they know they won’t be judged for their feelings. Regularly ask open-ended questions like, “How was your day?” or “What’s on your mind?” rather than just “Did you have a good day?”.
Active Listening: Pay attention to their body language as well as their words. Avoid interrupting or offering immediate solutions. Reflect back what you’ve heard to show you understand. For example, “It sounds like you were feeling a bit worried when…”
Help Them Name Their Feelings: Use feeling charts or books to help them identify and express emotions. When they describe a feeling, offer alternative words to expand their emotional vocabulary. For younger children, using toys or puppets to act out different emotions can be very helpful.
Model Emotional Awareness: Talk about your own feelings in an age-appropriate way. Show them healthy ways to manage stress and difficult emotions. If you are having a hard time, let them know in a age appropriate way, and let them see you taking healthy steps to deal with it.
Encourage Creative Expression: Provide opportunities for them to express themselves through art, music, or writing. These activities can help them process and understand their emotions. Be Patient and Persistent: Building emotional awareness takes time and effort. Don’t give up if they don’t open up immediately. Make talking about feelings a regular part of your routine.
Check in on Stress levels: Especially around times of change, such as starting a new school, or after a family event. Look for changes in sleeping, eating, or behaviour
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